*sigh* i'm bloody stupid. i must be. this week i've been pulling hours like 9am - 12 am and nothing i do is ever up to par. i'm just...slow. i must be f*cking retarded because i'm just not cut out for this. for once i think i'll finally get a break instead of dreaming of code in my sleep. i don't even know why i tried to have fun this weekend because right now i'm getting my ass kicked by my supervisor and i'm downloading a more recent build than what's on my computer because i have to fix up some stuff i didn't fully foresee. do i just not have enough time to test? yes, because i hardly finished developing in time. why? i don't know and it's not even like i'm slacking off all the time. and i don't like asking questions at work because they'll tell me i'm dumb and i should figure it out on my own. UGH! i would really like to sit back and cry but i just don't have time for it.

i don't have time for anyone. i don't pay attention to anyone. i've been neglecting people who really are important to me, including my friends who read my blog and i hate it when i do that.

why? because i'm bloody worried about work everywhere. everyone is better than me there. and i just feel like crap. AUGGH!!!! dammit!

*sigh* i don't know...i just don't know sometimes....

sorry for the rather er...uh....spiced up blog here....*sigh*...i think i need to vent to the whole world this time.... argh. =(