*sigh* i'm bloody stupid. i must be. this week i've been pulling hours like 9am - 12 am and nothing i do is ever up to par. i'm just...slow. i must be f*cking retarded because i'm just not cut out for this. for once i think i'll finally get a break instead of dreaming of code in my sleep. i don't even know why i tried to have fun this weekend because right now i'm getting my ass kicked by my supervisor and i'm downloading a more recent build than what's on my computer because i have to fix up some stuff i didn't fully foresee. do i just not have enough time to test? yes, because i hardly finished developing in time. why? i don't know and it's not even like i'm slacking off all the time. and i don't like asking questions at work because they'll tell me i'm dumb and i should figure it out on my own. UGH! i would really like to sit back and cry but i just don't have time for it.

i don't have time for anyone. i don't pay attention to anyone. i've been neglecting people who really are important to me, including my friends who read my blog and i hate it when i do that.

why? because i'm bloody worried about work everywhere. everyone is better than me there. and i just feel like crap. AUGGH!!!! dammit!

*sigh* i don't know...i just don't know sometimes....

sorry for the rather er...uh....spiced up blog here....*sigh*...i think i need to vent to the whole world this time.... argh. =(

*shows vic thinkgeek.com stuff online*
me: look! "there's no place like 127.0.0.1!"
vic: you people are weird.
me: oh! and look! isn't that pretty? it's a picture of the caffeine molecule!
vic: *rolls eyes and slaps me upside the head*

*me bops head to offspring song*
vic: how did you get like this? weren't you picked on as a child?


.........i think he's going to go into law. narrr...

it's 3am and i just woke up because i fell asleep shortly after coming home and eating. *sigh*

course, the good news is that i was dreaming about code the entire time......and reasons why that code wouldn't work.

*hangs head* i think i need to get out more.

:)

With regards to work life....Narrrrr..... --->

updated my site a bit to reflect the past weekend....

side note: exactly how did i somehow promise to go clubbing sometime in the next month? i never go clubbing! er...well, hardly. not that i don't enjoy it but more to the fact that i simply can't dance for any kind of bean. *hangs head* but, apparently I really owe someone from house duyca and since this one deed will apparently result in forgiveness for anything i've ever done to this person, i agreed to go.....oy. oh dear...save me? :) meesh? meesh???

also, rollerblading --- apparently a bad idea for me. *hangs head* i have got to learn how to make those wheels roll.

pat: it looks like you're walking.
me: shut up. =b

*sigh*....and...off to shower and bed because i think work will be functional (electricity wise) tmrw.... =)

nite all!